The last 4 days of thinking about you
by Achuna-chan
Summary: "I still want to see Kirito-kun smiling. But I can't take it anymore" Read more to find out! KiritoXAsuna. Rated T to be sure! One-shot!


"_How dare you lie to me, Kirito-kun!" Asuna cried out loud._

"_Asuna, I realized that I love Sachi more…" Kirito replied._

_Asuna suddenly slapped Kirito, leaving a red mark on his face._

" _Get out of here! And by the way, it Yuuki to you" Asuna continued, now with tears on her face._

_She pushed him outside the door. _

"_Asu- Yuuki-san! I want to—" Kirito tried to explain but was stopped._

_She slammed the door shut never knowing that it was the last time they would see each other alive._

A tear drops down from Kirito's Navy blue eyes as he remembers the last night he saw the girl he once loved. He regrets everything he did. From meeting her to rejecting her. Everything seems so wrong. Now, he is staring at the cold, pale body hanging from a thick rope. The body hanging wasn't the girl Kirito met. Asuna was always smiling. She was very beautiful, not until now. "It's all my fault!" he guiltily says. If only he hadn't been tricked by Sachi, he would still be smiling right now, holding hands with his beloved one. If only he had come earlier, then he could've saved her. Asuna probably attempted the suicide after her mother left because she couldn't have done it. He wished he didn't dump her 4 days ago. But past is past. He can't change anything.

The cops and her mother haven't arrived yet. So, he looks around her empty house. As he goes into her room, he sees a picture of him and her from the old days. And there sat a diary and video camera. He cries as he reads what was written. This is what it said :

_Day 1_

_Hey, diary!_

_This is the first time I've written here. And probably the last one. I finally had the energy to._

_Well, Im here, covered with red scars. I can't believe Kirito left me for Sachi._

_I thought he loved me. Im so sorry for filling you with negative thoughts . But not doing so would remove the purpose of having a diary. _

_Let me start the serious talk now._

_I don't know the purpose of my life now. Before, it was all about loving Kirito. But know, that one is washed away. I don't feel special anymore. I don't know wether I can survive this night without him. After he left, there was only one thing on my mind. Suicide. I was going to do it. But something stopped me. Faith. I still have Faith on Kirito. Even though there is a 1% chance that he would go back to me, I still believe a little._

_Hm…I have said enough. Im off to sleep now._

_In case anything happens to me, Sayonara._

_Day 2 _

_I didn't eat anything today. I just drank water. Kirito never went back to me this day. I have lost hope. Well, what do you expect? He will never come. _

_I thought of doing suicide again._

_I still don't know if I should do it. Even if I don't, I would still die because of the cuts I did to my body. _

_I wonder if Kirito is happy. If he Is happy, then I am happy. It gave me another thought of staying in this miserable world._

_Just one more day. _

_I want to sleep in peace tonight, thinking that he is happy. _

_This is only short. Im very sleepy. I don't know what will happen tomorrow._

_Day 3_

_I thought about doing is the whole day._

_Im so confused right now. Im so tired of this life but I still want to live in the time that Kirito is smiling. _

_Right now, my body's so warm. I didn't tell mother that I am having a fever._

_She doesn't even care. So why bother?_

_I don't know if I should be sick to death, or just lessen my suffering by hanging myself with a rope. I really don t know what is happening. Im getting serious in deciding._

_Today, I have decided to be happy for Kirito. Im glad he is with someone who he likes. Im glad he is not with me, a very filthy, useless creature. I could even use the word "monster". Best wishes to the both of them. Sachi is a very kind, pretty, and intelligent girl. She could do anything. Not compared to me. I am NOTHING compared to her. That's probably the reason why he left me.  
_

_Oh, by the way, I had a dream while I was sleeping a while ago. I was in a green meadow. A very beautiful one. I was wearing a pretty white dress. I had wings in the wonderful dream. I soared up in the sky. It was the best dream I had in ages. _

_When I woke up, I did a last look on the album of me and Kirito. I remembered the old times. After that, I placed it in a small box with all the gifts Kirito gave me. They are all very precious to me. I carefully placed the box inside my closet. _

_I wish I could bring back time. _

_Im seriously tired and sleepy._

_I don't know what will happen tomorrow._

_If someone is reading this, Im sorry._

_I couldn't find a better solution to the problem. I should do this for the sake of everyone. Im so sorry. Bye and Goodnight._

_Day 4_

The 4th page of the diary was left blank. Instead, there was a cd inserted. Kirito turned on the computer in Asuna's room. He played the video.

_Ah! Im so sorry I had to record this. This time is very important to me._

_I just want to be direct. I want to say sorry to all the people I have hurt._

_To my mother, Im so sorry for giving you all the troubles. Im so sorry for being the worst child ever. Im so sorry for everything I did to you. I don't deserve to be your daughter. I don't deserve to be taken care of. I don't deserve to live. Im so sorry._

_May you find happiness without someone to give you problems. To my friends, thank you so much for being my friends. Thanks for being there with me when I needed you. Sorry, I didn't inform everyone of my condition because I don't want you to have troubles. I love you all. Im really so sorry. I promise I will keep all the memories we had. Please be happy. I want to see everyone smiling. Lastly, to Kirito-kun. Im so sorry for giving problems to you. Im so sorry for everything stupid I did to you. Thank you for the time and for your smiles when you were here with you for keeping me alive. With just the thought of you being happy, makes me want to stay longer. But I cant take it anymore. I don't want to suffer long_. _Kirito-kun, thank you for everything. For your time and love. Thank you for lighting up the dark for me. Thank you for being there. I owe you a lot. I wish you the best. I want you to be smiling for me.I hope you find happiness with Sachi._

_Im really so sorry for this selfish act. Sorry, sorry._

She smiles a sweet smile. This smile was different from her old ones. This smile had something to it that gives chills to Kirito.

_This is it. Sayonara._

Those were the last words of Asuna Yuuki. She will never come back. She will never smile again. Kirito stares blankly at the wall.

"A-Asuna" he said, in the verge of tears.

"S-sorry" he continued , now, sobbing.

The next thing he knew, he was dragged out by the police. They let him sit on the couch in asuna's house. He watched as Asuna's body was placed on a stretcher. She was then covered in white cloth.

"Asuna, don't worry. We will meet again. Someday. " he whispers.

Fin.


End file.
